Yeah. But I thought Vane and I were both going back to pretend to be asleep. I had no idea he'd end up... you know. Dead. Or involved in Danny's case. It was supposed to just be Ponta.
...there's, um. A side effect. When I heal people.
[ohhh he doesn't want to explain this, actually, but he does owe them an explanation.]
I'm kind of... compelled to inflict the same damage I heal somewhere else. Up until now, property damage has been enough. But this time it wouldn't work - nothing made the urge go away.
[his voice breaks a little at that and he buries his face in his knees.]
...I thought I had it under control enough that I could still help people. It was working. Every week, it - just damaging things was enough. Fox even set up a spare room in our dorm that I could do that in, so it wouldn't bother anyone else. It was... it was working. I was supposed to be in control of it.
... She was gifted with the power of healing, like you, but it came at a heavy cost. I was able to find ways to mitigate the harm, but... even when I told her she had to stop traveling for her own sake, she insisted on carrying on.
She couldn't just not help people if they were hurt... That's the kind of person Estelle is.
Humans can't use magic naturally, but she's an exception. She can interact directly with aer, with the energy that fuels magic, and in doing so, she helped me complete my formula and bring spirits into the world.
[ a little softer, ] ... I wouldn't have gotten anywhere without her.
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no subject
Date: 2023-11-05 03:15 am (UTC)Yeah. But I thought Vane and I were both going back to pretend to be asleep. I had no idea he'd end up... you know. Dead. Or involved in Danny's case. It was supposed to just be Ponta.
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Date: 2023-11-05 03:19 am (UTC)[ the drums? who knows. definitely not me, who was away for most of the trial. ]
... Anyway, there's something else that bugs me about this case. What the hell was with those injuries on Ponta!?
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Date: 2023-11-05 03:20 am (UTC)[ohhh he doesn't want to explain this, actually, but he does owe them an explanation.]
I'm kind of... compelled to inflict the same damage I heal somewhere else. Up until now, property damage has been enough. But this time it wouldn't work - nothing made the urge go away.
no subject
Date: 2023-11-05 03:23 am (UTC)[ !?!?!?
well now she's peeling herself away from the wall to go grab the bars of his cell and rattle them. ]
What the hell!? Why didn't you say so!?
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Date: 2023-11-05 03:25 am (UTC)[his voice breaks a little at that and he buries his face in his knees.]
...I thought I had it under control enough that I could still help people. It was working. Every week, it - just damaging things was enough. Fox even set up a spare room in our dorm that I could do that in, so it wouldn't bother anyone else. It was... it was working. I was supposed to be in control of it.
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Date: 2023-11-05 03:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-11-05 03:45 am (UTC)[he shakes his head.]
I'm supposed to be able to heal people. That's what I do.
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Date: 2023-11-05 05:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-11-05 05:24 am (UTC)...sorry, Rita.
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Date: 2023-11-05 05:44 am (UTC)[ she turns around, leans back against the bars, and sighs. ]
... I get it.
It pisses me off, but I get it.
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Date: 2023-11-05 05:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-11-05 05:57 am (UTC)She couldn't just not help people if they were hurt... That's the kind of person Estelle is.
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Date: 2023-11-05 06:01 am (UTC)...Estelle... she was the girl in your memory. With the aer, and the spirit.
[he remembers.]
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Date: 2023-11-05 06:08 am (UTC)Humans can't use magic naturally, but she's an exception. She can interact directly with aer, with the energy that fuels magic, and in doing so, she helped me complete my formula and bring spirits into the world.
[ a little softer, ] ... I wouldn't have gotten anywhere without her.
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Date: 2023-11-05 06:12 am (UTC)his brow furrows.]
...we need to get you back to her. And the others.
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Date: 2023-11-05 06:30 am (UTC)And we're not letting you get left behind, either.
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Date: 2023-11-05 06:32 am (UTC)[he wants to go home with nico. :( ]
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Date: 2023-11-05 04:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-11-05 05:35 pm (UTC)[but he is not deny that he himself is dumb.]